Can one be Both Frail and Sturdy in Advanced Aging?

Frail: weak, infirm, feeble, fragile                                                                                                                                                    Sturdy: durable, secure, tough      

Recently I discovered the Edmonton Frail Scale in multiple versions of specificity. In its most basic form it cited five areas that could  roughly determine degree of frailty. They included walking speed, grip strength, weight loss in past year, fatigue (trouble in getting going)  and calorie burning activity level.  On four of the five criteria, I’m a really frail individual. The only one that didn’t fit was weight loss (mine has been much slower).So there’s hard evidence that I’m indeed frail. Yet somehow I don’t  have a sense of frailness.

But, when I looked at my situation more closely and honestly I realized that the reason I could still feel quite sturdy was that throughout the decades of my aging, day by day and step by step, I had gradually altered and simplified my environment, my daily living activities and my self- expectations to fit with my capacities. I now  live on one floor of my home, don’t drive,  rarely go outside. My meals, though nutritious, limit both preparation and cleanup activities. Family members or a couple of friends do my grocery shopping and help out with home management /repair needs and incidental little things I can’t do. A friend puts the laundry through its cycles while we’re visiting.  I wear clothing that’s become too big for me, is stretchy and that I’m able to get in and out of without too much difficulty. My exercise consists of activities involved in the upkeep and maintenance of myself, my cat and my environment in ways that suit my expectations. I plan for longer recuperative times between activities that have pushed my limits (even visits from others and zoom ones). E-books from the local library keep me interested and happy. The one area that hasn’t changed is my blog writing. I spend hours each day pondering ideas and writing/reworking blog pieces. It’s cognitively and emotionally invigorating.

My available ARCed capacities plus my resources are the current realities I have available to work with  as I seek to achieve the requirements and desires in my daily living. They are my positives..

As a centenarian, my limitations are the conditions and circumstances I need to work around. I can sturdily dislike their reality.  I can be impatient with them, tire of them. That is what it is. But my goals and my efforts are for making each day, each part of the day a worthwhile experience.  Even finding a new way to retrieve the 10th thing I dropped that day can be a a time for explosive venting, but it’s also a positive creative experience. I know I’m frail. I acknowledge that. But I like the sense that in the midst of it all I’m still durable and sturdy, at least for now. Overall, I’m content with life and living.

20 thoughts on “Can one be Both Frail and Sturdy in Advanced Aging?

  1. How are you dealing with the mandatory online website services? My biggest struggle right now (only 70 yrs) is the time and confusion around online communication with financial institutions, SSA, insurances, Rx, income accounts, utilities, managing data collection for taxes, filing taxes, etc. That is my biggest anxiety as I have no control over the changes they introduce and they errors they make. Communication over the phone is near worthless. I can spend an hour trying to reach a person who often redirects me to another telephone tree or voice mail. Suggestions from your readers are welcome.

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    • There are very few people on the other end…almost all communications are now online. Do you have a smart phone? I use mine daily to communicate and interact with a variety of sites. I also use my laptop, as I’m doing now, reading and replying to blogs. I update apps on a regular basis, and though frustrating as it may be, it keeps me on my toes. I think it’s a matter of using the technology on a daily basis, and being prepared to get frustrated at times, but able to work through the frustration. If you have a friend who can talk you through some of the frustrations, it helps. I’m fortunate to have a husband who was a computer programmer for 25 years and who still keeps up to date on all technology.

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      • Yes, thank you.
        The smart phone is extremely difficult to use with low vision and the swipes and gestures keep changing making what I do ineffectual. Using the laptop is more stable but my pain issues interfere with sitting for more than 10 minutes. I am managing OK now and I shouldn’t be worrying about the future but I do. Living alone, I am not sure who will take that on when I can’t. I suppose a social worker? This blog is a lifeline. It helps me anticipate and prepare for the future. Thank you.

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      • I’m glad you can connect with others through your computer. I have “met” so many wonderful people through social media. They are my portal into the world. I don’t know if you are close to an Apple store, but if you are, the technicians there can help you with assists for low vision. I have a friend who has a “reader” on his computer screen that helps him read certain things like his newspaper which he dearly loves.

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  2. I am thrilled that you find preparing your messages a labor of love and joy. I am “only” 77 and you are such an inspiration. I am not inspired to live forever, or extend a life beyond joy. I am inspired to know that if I point my nose and toes together I might do the one important thing the doc suggests “just don’t fall” — again. 🙂

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  3. I love your blogs and always pay close attention. It’s a slow process of changes – our bodies, minds, the world, and dealing with all kinds of changes on the internet, policies and politics.
    Your insights are great bits of information for all of us. You are helping us to keep tabs on the changes we are moving toward.
    As always – wishing love and good health to surround you – frail and durable

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  4. Thank you for the satisfying work you put into the blog. Your pieces are thoughtful and stimulate my thinking about what my needs might be later on. For now I order my groceries online and I drive so I can pick them up. My house is fortunately one floor with one step up to the back porch. I am fortunate that my laundry is not in the basement. I am able to walk my dog. I am active, but I still need help with replacing light bulbs and turning off the smoke detector.

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  5. I am grateful that for the most part changes here come on gradually so I can adjust.(I am 75) Recently I pointed a parking spot to my husband. When he parked to the right of it I asked him why. He said it was where I was pointing. Sure enough that finger now definitely points to the right!

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  6. It is time to say thank you for the effort and skill you put into your blog. I am encouraged each time I read it. If I reach the age you are now (and that will take another 30 years) I hope I have the common sense and self-helpfulness that you do. Wishing you continued peaceful days.
    I joined the blog because of the UELAC connection of one of your family members.

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  7. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy your words of wisdom. Turning 75 has been a game changer for me. The information you share has helped me understand the importance of keeping my mind and body active and to embrace my years.

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  8. I treasure your blogs and am grateful for your dedication to producing them. Having been able to successfully manage the ups and downs in my life to this point, I assumed I’d be able to manage the whole aging process as well. Not! At age 83, my ARCs are accelerating and leaving me feeling unbalanced on many levels. Thank you for being a realistic, but positive beacon of light!

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  9. You are ‘durable & sturdy’ for sure…and a natural teacher, with a rapt audience hanging on everything you ponder, every word you write.
    Thank you for your diligence in crafting genuine, heartfelt and practical posts for those of us lower on the age time line, but ever growing older!

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  10. It is so important to accept that “frailty” and “sturdiness” can both be true but that sturdiness can maintain the upper hand! I see frailty as associated with OUTSIDE appearances, which are just on the surface. Sturdiness refers to what’s INSIDE–the essence of who we are. I’m glad that you mentioned that it’s okay to sometimes feel impatience and sometimes anger with conditions and circumstances that hold us back but that we should then focus on coping strategies than can be helpful in allowing us to keep living our best possible lives. I think it all boils down to ATTITUDE. When we see ourselves as sturdy, we will feel sturdy and we’ll be accepted as such. I am reminded of this every time I see a person of ANY age staying positive (and sturdy) in the face of physical. mental, and/or emotional difficulties.

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  11. This is a wonderfully simple summary of the net effect of practicing EWA over many years. The secret of your sturdiness is constant attention, constant creative adjustment. Not a magic pill or a transfusion of teenager’s blood or genetic juggling: persistent work, which turns out to be hugely effective for your well-being. You are a superb role model for me, and obviously for many others. Thank you!

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